1. Please describe a positive scene from childhood in detail. What led up to this event? When and where did it happen? Who was involved? What were you thinking and feeling? Why is it an important event? What impact did it have on you?
When I was six, my family moved from Ohio "back" to WV. While I had been born in Ohio, WV was home and parents decided it was time to go home. It was Thanksgiving Day 1981. I remember leaving the only house I'd ever known, my friends, and the woman who had practically raised me to that point. It was a big change for a small child. However, WV meant family and new friends. Althought I was young, I vividly remember sitting in the topper on the back of the truck and waving goodbye to my babysitter.
My family had moved to Ohio in the early 70's for work; however, they were never really happy and missed their WV home and family. Deciding it was time to return to WV, they put our house on the market. Other houses on the street had been for sale for years, so they expected a wait. However, a few weeks later, the house was sold, our stuff was packed and we were on our way. One thing that really sticks out about that day was it was Thanksgiving and EVERYTHING was closed. When we got to my grandparents' house, they had already eaten dinner. I was devastated, but Grandma pulled out leftovers for us.
Our moving "back" to WV shaped who I became as I grew older. Had I grown up in a more urban setting, I don't believe I'd be the person I am today.
2. Please describe a negative scene from childhood in detail. What led up to this event? When and where did it happen? Who was involved? What were you thinking and feeling? Why is it an important event? What impact did it have on you?
I have a hard time pinpointing one particularly negative scene from my childhood. My mother was always sick and in and out of hospitals. That had a major impact on my life. Our relationship was difficult. She had several medical conditions and as time went on, she suffered from mental illness also. There are so many things that happened during this time, it is hard to remember one that stood out above all others. Most of the events involved her extremely irrational behavior.
As for a random meaningful event, I vividly remember what I was doing when the Challenger blew up. I was at my cousin's house playing Nintendo. That particular event stands out because it was the first National tragedy that I remember witnessing. I remember having questions about what happened to the people on the shuttle and thinking about their families.
3. Describe a particular event from your teen-aged years that stands out in your memory today. This can be positive or negative. What led up to the event? What happened? Where and when? Who was involved? What were you thinking and feeling? Why is it an important event? What impact did the event have on you.
Having been an extremely shy teenager, one event that stands out in my mind was the night two of my roommates in college convinced me to walk to the music store with a guy we had only talked to online (once or twice). My roommates main concern was their need for doughnuts. The guy just didn't want to walk four blocks by himself. So, one of my roommates and I set off to meet some random stranger. My roommate had talked to the guy on the phone and they had decided to meet in front of our dorm. I remember seeing him and thinking "well, that's not what I expected". It was a quiet walk on a brisk March night. I was so nervous thinking "this guy is going to kill us!" My roommate, who was decidedly less shy, rambled on and on making stupid jokes and comments. At the end of the night, we got his music, my roommates' doughnuts and went back to campus. It was so far outside my comfort zone, I still can't believe that I did it. A few weeks later, one of my friends started dating the guy's friend. Soon, a large group of us started hanging out and going to dinner together. It was the first time that I really felt like part of a group. As time went on, the group dwendled down to a few people. After about a year, I realized that "random stranger" had become my best friend. Then, after denying it for about 6 months, we realized that we'd been dating for quite awhile.
4. Describe a vivid or important memory from any time in your adult years. Again, this can be positive or negative. It can be about anything – family, work, whatever. The scene stands out in your mind today as being especially vivid or important. Please describe what led up to the event. Then describe the scene in detail. What happened? Where and when? Who was involved? What were you thinking and feeling? Why is it an important event? What impact has the event had on you?
As previously mentioned, my mother and I did not get along. However, her death had a profound effect on my life. At the age of 50, she passed away in 1997. I was 21. Having dealt with her various illnesses over the years, her death still came as a surprise. She had had several strokes. She had high blood pressure, heart disease, kidney disease, mental illness issues...pretty much anything that could go wrong did. She had just started going to kidney dialysis and had gone into the hospital to have a permanent shunt put it. It was supposed to be a "routine procedure" and she should have been out of the hospital in a couple days. However, as normal with Mom, something went wrong. When they gave her a blood thinner to start dialysis, she started having internal bleeding...then she suffered another stroke. By this point, Mom was a pro at having strokes. Usually, she'd be in the hospital for a few weeks then come home and continue to improve. However, this time was different. She was in a coma and my dad, sister and I had to decide what to do. After trying the procedure for a second time, we decided to discontinue treatment. It was a difficult decision and her doctor didn't completely agree with us. My mother had just turned 50. The doctor really didn't want to give up. However, she had been dealing with illness for several years (as long as I could remember) and had no hope of leading a completely normal life.
That one decision completely changed the course of my family's lives.
5. In looking back on your life, you may be able to identify particular “turning points” – episodes through which you experienced an important change in your life. Please choose one key turning point scene and describe it in detail. If you feel your life story contains no clear turning points, then describe a particular episode in your life that comes closer than any other to qualifying for a turning point – a scene where you changed in some way. Again, please describe what led up to the event, what happened in the event, where and when it happened, who was involved, what you were thinking and feeling, and so on. Also, please tell me how you think you changed as a result of this event and why you consider this event to be an important scene in your life story today.
The decision to discontinue lifesaving efforts for my mother is definitely a "turning point" in my life. As previous described, my mother had been sick for a very long time. My family had dealt with her various illnesses as they came. It sounds horrible to say, but her death freed our entire family. My sister was able to raise her children without the constant trips to the doctor with mom. My father was able to slow down and stop working himself to death to cover medical bills and never get a step ahead. And I was able to breathe...without the fear of doing something wrong, being ridiculed or invoking her wrath. Since her death, our lives have gone on. My sister's children have grown into wonderful adults. My father, after a couple years of mourning, re-married a wonderful woman. And I now have a family of my own and my confidence has grown stronger.